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  • 我最愛玩的游戲——捉迷藏

      “捉迷藏”可是我和小伙伴們都最愛玩的逛戲,每次只需我們正在一路玩,可就從來少不了“捉迷藏”這個風趣的逛戲。這不,我們今天又正在玩了。

      “10,9,8,7,6……”張義成曾經起頭倒計時了,可是我仍是沒有找好合適的藏身之處,就只好往面前的一處樹叢里一鉆。“好了嗎?”張義成的大嗓門一喊,我趕緊屏住了呼吸,氣兒都不敢出。張義成間接向我這邊跑了過來,我的心怦怦曲跳。誰知他竟然沒有發覺我,繞著樹叢走了兩圈,仍是沒有發覺我。他還喊:“龔雨翔!程秋成!我發覺你們了,呵呵。”我仍是沒有反映,他終究走了。我想“你還騙我,沒門兒!”我看了看四周,好在,這里的一個浮泛被一個坐下來歇息的老奶奶蓋住了。 我吸了一口涼氣,趕緊趁著張義成還沒有回過來,我趕緊向一間燒毀的小房子里的一個的墻角躲去。張義成找了半天,垂頭喪氣的,仿佛是沒半邊人影。他找到了這邊,可是不敢進來。我正滿意,突然聽見:“程秋成,本來你躲正在這兒!”我不由得探出頭去看,正碰上張義成的目光……啊!入彀了!我垂頭喪氣……

      哈哈,這就是我們最愛玩的捉迷藏,你也要插手嗎?

      

    做文點評:

       故事記敘還算活潑,但你想通過故事申明什么?有點費猜。是想說玩逛戲也要動腦筋嗎?有點這個意義,但不敷清晰。就像你上篇做文,通過幾個狡猾同窗,正在教員來到教室前的起哄,想申明什么呢?申明“沒有教員也該當盲目恪守講堂規律”嗎?也是不很清晰,有點費猜。兩篇做文反映了你寫做方面的一個“短腿”,就是思惟性的提夫不腳。其實,結尾就差一句話:“做逛戲,也要動腦筋才能取勝呀”。如果有這句話多好。就像踢腳球,臨門一腳,還差點勁。繼續多加勤奮。

    未經允許不得轉載:小學生作文網 » 我最愛玩的游戲——捉迷藏

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